Today was the closest I had ever been to a death experience. No it wasn't mine but it didn't make it any less earth shaking. Although I turned my back and walked away from it, it wasn't without me being slightly emotionally rattled.
Walking down a long hallway, I was on my way to the cancer wing of the hospital. As I approached the entrance to the ward, I heard shouts and I could feel the tension in the air. The shouts were not regular shouts and the tension that I speak of is one that is very different. Not to sound overly dramatic but there was a sense of death in the air.
A patient from the cancer ward had gone to the toilet with a wheel chair and it is to my assumption that she had collapsed or lost conciousness there. Another lady who accompanied her to the toilet, knees buckling, lost her composure and broke down in a loud wail. A group of nurses were already on the scene and it was one of these nurses that made a quick grab for her to steady her feet and led her away, giving her words of comfort as they went.
As I heard the shouts, " Get her down, get her down! Here! On the ground! Quick! Get her down!" my eyes were immediately drawn to the commotion. There were 3-4 nurses struggling to get the patient on to the ground and more nurses joined in as the shouting went on. All this happened in a mere 10-20 seconds and as they got her down, two nurses were doing their best to protect the patients dignity because she only had a shift like dress on, no innerwear. At that same moment, they started resuscitating her.
I didn't want to be in the way nor did I want to stare at such a heart wrenching situation so I turned around and walked the opposite way. As I left I could hear the lead nurse shouting, " 1....2....3....4....5..............20! 1+.....2+.....3+.....4+.....5+...............20!"
As she went on all I could do was mutter under my breath, "Don't die, don't die."
I was shocked. It wasn't what I expected to see. Deaths occur in a hospital room, emergency ward, operating table. Not in a hallway, 3 feet from the toilet.
In that short moment I saw wardsmen and resuscitation ward nurses walking down the hallway towards me, obviously heading to the scene. The lead nurse with the patient then yelled, " Hurry up! Run! " Then understanding the urgency, they began to run.
As I walked on, other people were also going down that hallway, making small talk to their companions, oblivious to the near death situation happening ahead. Further on was the cafeteria where folks were having coffee and cake, while only 30 meters away, a patient was fighting for her life. Death was the last thing their minds. Death too was the last thing on my mind when I woke up this morning.
I'd admit this experience shook me up a little. While at that place, I still had my wits about me. I was in control enough to turn around and walk away, in part to not be a nuisance, in part to not be rude and stare, in part to not be witness a devastating loss to the stricken relative but mostly, it was to not feel the soul of a person slip away. But with every step away that I took, the severity of the situation began to hit me and I began to choke up with tears. I can now understand how shock can affect a person only to show its effects later on.
Even as I retold this story to my colleagues back at the work place, I could feel the tears well up. At that point I did not know if the patient made it or lost her battle. It was 10 minutes later that we got her blood tests - marked urgent. We ran it through quickly and discovered that she was a good way from hitting 50 years of age. Too young to go. Too young to leave her loved ones behind.
I'm glad she made it.
I'm amazed at the quick response of the nurses in getting to her and starting the resuscitation.
I'm amazed at the team work and organization displayed by the small group of nurses.
I'm amazed at how quickly emergency staff got to that wing. (Emergency is a fair walk away from that wing)
Although many of us know the sayings - Carpe Diem, Love Thy Neighbours - how many of us live as though this was the last day we had on this perishable earth? Or the last day with the ones we love?
Maybe this post will bring up memories for you of a loss you had experienced in the past or a near death experience you too once had. If not, maybe it could make you think twice about the possibility of death and your preparation for it.
A little morbid and glum yes... but not unrealistic. Every now and then we have something happen to us that for a short moment, it parts the clouds of day to day living, giving us some clarity, causing us to look deeper into things we normally take for granted before the clouds merge and once again, obscuring the bit of insight we had into our life. Humans are creatures of habit. We can busy ourselves with our daily routine, so much so that days just go by in a haze. It is this haze that I speak of as the clouds of day to day living. In that cloud parting moment we can make life changing decisions and make a new commitment to do things better or let it slip by as quickly as it unexpectedly appeared.
I will have something thinking to do....
cheryl
My simple salad of roughly chopped pico de gallo sans chillies tossed together with bacon, a dash of balsamic vinegar, parmesan cheese, cos lettuce and iceberg lettuce. Excuse the picture... we were really hungry had dug in before I remembered to take a picture. Even then it was a quick shot.
